Love/Hate Bond of Siblings

Lights are dim, I am standing in the middle of a war zone. One girl is running away while the other girl is screaming and crying ‘She hit me’ and I am standing their trying to grab both their hands together. I tell them nicely to stop, but it is of no avail. Finally, I raise the red flag of anger, get them to sit down together and make them apologize.

Phew…that war is done! Most of us parents face this war everyday between siblings. They usually fight over petty issues and make a mountain out of a mole.

However, there are certain days when all my three children go super quite. There is no noise, fights or no one coming to mommy to solve their problems. They are actually playing together, not arguing or complaining. I am standing in awe as did this really happen or am I day dreaming?

Most of the times, I let them solve their own fights instead of getting involved because honestly, its just drains my energy. At the end, when I get mad at them, they forget what they are fighting about and gang up on me saying “I should not be getting mad at them.”

Its funny now that I look back at it because initially I would get upset at them due to their arguments and now they are the ones telling me what to do.

However, I would not trade this bond that the kids have over anything. Yes, they fight and they get along, but that is how they will grow stronger and learn to depend on each other. I want them to have this bond even after they grow up where they know that they have each others back.

To make this bond stronger, we recently celebrated a special holiday in Indian culture called Raksha Bhandan (bond of protection/defense).  In this ritual, sisters tie a thread around the brothers wrist and pray for their good health and long life. They then feed sweets or chocolates. In return, the brother usually gifts her something and promises to protect her and look after her.

It is a very simple festival, but the kids look forward to it every year. It does not matter how big or small you are, you still tie or send a rakhi (thread) for your brother. Even after marriage, the girls will still go to their brother’s house and tie a rakhi to them. On this day, you put away all your arguments and remember the special bond you share with your brothers.

Nowadays, sisters tie it to each other or even cousins if they do not have a brother. This just makes the bond between siblings stronger and as parents you know that they have each others back in the future. 

Rakhi is usually observed on a full moon day in the Hindu month of Shravan, which is usually the month of August. It started off in the old days as a Hindu festival, but nowadays, it transcends all cultures and religions. In the old days, rakhi used to be simple piece of thread. Now, they come in beautiful colors with intricate designs, studded with amulets and decorations. For kids they have all the cartoon character rakhis like spiderman to mickey to minnie to doreamon and many more.

Rakhi is one such festival to keep this siblings bond everlasting. When I look back at my childhood, I remember the fights and talking about problems with my brother and sister. Even now, we still have our arguments, yet we are very protective of each other and still involved in each other lives.

I feel if our kids have a healthy relationship of fighting, arguing, and playing together then this bond is sure to last forever. It are these memories that stay with us.