Kids and Sensitive Topics

2020 is an eventful year with lots of twists and turns. There is a lot of uncertainty and lot of questions. Eventually, all this tension we have build up, trickles down onto our kids whether we like it or not.

The slightest change in our behavior and kids radar picks it up. They will ask out of worry, “What is wrong?” and it is up to us as parents to tell them or brush them off.

I personally feel kids are like mini-adults where given any situation they learn to understand the situation. I have always treated my kids like adults, talked to them and reasoned with them like an adult. They have the capacity to grasp the severity of the situation.

Therefore, I feel kids should have a right to know about sensitive topics that are currently impacting everyone’s lives.

However, you must be feeling that your kid may be too young. How can I talk to them? What should I talk to them about? I assure you no kid is too young to understand. Yes, initially they may not understand, but if you talk them about the topic daily, they are sure to understand.

Currently, we are facing issues like corona, racism, protests, death, social justice and what is right or wrong. Or it can be friends, school or body-related issues. So, where to start? What is the right age?

Age is just a number. You may disagree, but it is. I feel as a parent you can judge your kids maturity level. Despite their different levels, kids have a grasping power to understand the situation.

Addressing the tough stuff makes your kids feel safer, strengthens your bond and teaches them about the world.

Caroline Knorr, Common Sense Media Parenting Editor

Small and simple talks

With younger kids, I feel start off with small, simple talks or maybe even a story form. For instance, when my grandmother passed away a year ago, I told my kids that my grandma went to heaven and mom is really going to miss her. My twins were small, but they understood and would keep cheering me up when I was down.

As kids get older, I feel it is easier to start off with small talks, see how much they are grasping and then give them more information as they can take in. For instance, with the polarizing and intense topic of George Flyod, I told the kids in a story format to see if they could grasp the information.

My kids understood it and had lots of questions to ask. Then as they understood further, I felt they could understand serious topics about racism and different cultures. They could also take in the news of protests. So, I broke down the meaning of protests and explained what they saw on the news. I also broke down the meaning of racism and talked more about how everyone has different cultures, yet we are all humans.

The more simpler and easier you make the topic, it is easier for kids to understand. Certain topics may not be simple, but you can break it down into different parts and explain bit by bit everyday. This helps reinforce their understanding.

Sometimes, if you do not quite know how to start the topic, you can always read a book on that topic like about bullying.

Listening

It is also very key to listen to them. After explaining the scenario, it is very important to spend that extra time to listen to them. You may be surprised to know that they already know the information from before or they may have lots of curious, innocent questions. Through this, you can also understand whether your kids have understood the topic correctly.

According to the site National Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children, “When you want to have a serious conversation with a child it can be easy to forget that it should be a two-way thing. For them to feel truly involved it’s very important to show that you are listening to them and really value what they’re telling you.”

Listening is a powerful tool which we often forget to do. It gives assurance to our kids that we are there for them even though verbally we may not say so.

Lot of times, the kids come home from school with news to share or just the fact that their friend was being mean to them or how they helped their friend in school. After listening to them, I tell them how to deal with their friend who is mean and try to explain the friend’s point of view. Or then at times, I reward them for helping their friend. Listening opens the door for open communication between us and the kids.

Being patient

They say patient is a virtue, but when it comes to kids, I feel my patient runs out. So before it runs out, there are few things I like to do.

I make sure that I am relaxed, at ease and have ample time to explain to the kids since there will always be a round of question answer. There are certain areas where I let my husband take over in explaining the topic because he has more patience to deal with the kids.

Kids are very sensitive to our reaction so when you explain to them, take out the necessary time and then explain. Whenever I tend to explain in a rush, I realize that often times, I get agitated or annoyed to answer to them because I have other errands that I need to get done first.

This hinders kids from trusting in us and asking us further questions. That safety net of security does not form because then even the next time, they will feel that I should not ask this since my parents will get annoyed.

At the end, you want to create a trust where your kids can come to you to ask anything and they will not be punished for asking.

Being honest

Hey, there may be times, where we do not have the answer to questions. It is perfectly all right to not know. My kids will ask me, how does corona happen? Can we survive it? Why can not we go to school because of corona?

Honestly, when the whole outbreak happened, it was overwhelming. So, I told them to give me some time and I went through a few websites where I could get some news from. Then we read the news together and I explained to them what it meant. Therefore, it is perfectly fine to not know because we are not Google or Alexa that we will know everything.

At the end, we all wish for a safe, secure environment for our kids where we can protect them from any harm. I strongly believe by talking with your kids about any sensitive topics, you are opening the door for them to trust you, to be more secure and to make more wiser decisions.

By investing knowledge, compassion and thinking, we are helping our kids grow and be stronger. We are installing confidence in them to deal with any problems they may face.