Q & A
I wanted to take time off to answer questions that people had approached me personally or online regarding kids issues or mommy related issues. So I hope the answers help you in some way.
How to get over jet leg with kids espescially since I have three kids?
Jet leg is a tiring process of our body trying to get used to the time difference due to the different time zones. Espescially, when you travel long distance like India to USA – a good 12 hr time difference.
Before, when we used to travel to and from India, I used to fight with jet leg. I would try stay up few more hours and make the kids stretch it out till the evening. However, I realized that this is doable only if you are single, married, have 1 child, but not when you have 2 or more.
I would also be fighting to keep all three kids awake including myself, but at the end either 1 or 2 would fall asleep and the third one would be awake. So, we would all end up in different time zones.
Solution:
I realized just to stop fighting jetleg. Now, I usually make sure that I am back atleast a week earlier before school starts so kids can get adjusted. I let them adjust to their own time and I follow their schedule.
So, yes at night, I am making their breakfast since it is morning in India and at morning, I am making dinner since it is evening in India. This usually lasts about 4 to 5 days and slowly their body adjusts the time difference. It is easier this way because if I try to stretch their jet leg, they usually end up becoming cranky and irritated which is the last thing I want to deal with.
How is staying in Mumbai vs Los a
Angeles?
As many of you know, I was born in Mumbai and was there till 8years old. After that, I have spent my childhood and teenage years in Tokyo, Japan (12 years). However, once a year for two months we had to go stay in Mumbai with our family.
After marriage, I have stayed a lot in Mumbai. So, if to answer this question, I may not be the right person, but I do know the life and the feel of a Mumbaikar.
As for L.A., I came here in 2004 for college and ended up staying here with no intention of planning my life in L.A.. So, I have spent a good 14 years in L.A., more than what I have lived in Japan.
Mumbai is a very vibrant city with warm people, a melting pot of cultures and religions, crowded and easy to get around.
LA is a fun, lively city, good weather, growing urban city, which you have to give about six months to warm up to.
Initially, it was hard for me to get used to L.A. because you need a car. Lets face it – that was the first thing I realized is I need to get my license quick!
I guess one drawback when you compare to other metropolitan cities is that LA is so vast and huge that everything is so spread out. This is one reason why it takes a while for new people to get used to is the distance.
However, LA as a city has so much to offer that you have to be willing to explore and drive out. Yes, you do have to give some time to LA to warm up to you, but once you have lived here, I do not think you can live else where (besides Japan). Where else can you go to the beach or mountain within an 1 or 2 hr drive.
I love both the cities because each city has to offer their own specialty and learning to know the specialty will make you fall in love with that city.
How do I manage to handle kids activities and get time for myself?
We have overheard and probably are over done with this word, “Time management” but it is the key.
When the kids were younger and were at home, I barely had time for myself. Maybe at night, I would take the time to read or watch T.V. when they were sleeping. It was a struggle to figure out how to spend my time efficiently. I would try to finish up my work when the kids were taking an afternoon nap. However, half the time, I would end up napping with them because I was tired or exhausted. I guess time management was out the window then, but at the same time, I was enjoying every minute with them.
Now as they are going to school, I feel I have more time to explore my needs and dreams. I have the morning till 1 p.m. to do activities. So, in this time frame some days, I am working on my blog or doing yoga or going for lunch or running errands. I have an idea in my mind what I need to get done so accordingly I will create a schedule for myself for that day.
Once kids are back, my routine focuses more on them. I usually try to keep 2 activities for the semester and have them master it before I move on to the next activity. I do not want to overwhelm the kids at same time. With three kids, I try find timings in such a way that they are back to back times but the same day. (Going different days of the week for each one…I would go nuts!)
Through time management, it helps me keep a rough guideline of what I have to do in the day. I do not follow it to the point, but I use it as a guiding tool.
How is life with twins when they were babies vs now?
Twins are double trouble, but double fun also. From day one, I have been told by doctors to treat them as 2 individual kids because each one will have its own personality. I never really registered this until they were almost a year old, where I could notice differences in personality.
While they were growing up, I decided to treat them as 2 individual kids because they have their distinct personalities. Aria – very girly, liked pink from day one, loved to dress up… Kiara – very tomboy, liked blue from day one, has to wear a pant under her dress no matter what.
They chose their own colors. I tried to swap the colors but no they were adamant on their choice.
I feel when they were small, there was a lot of work because you are feeding at the same time, diaper change, playing and napping all at same time. I had to make sure one was not left out.
However, now, as they are older, yes, it is easier since most of the activities they do it on their own. Yet, I still have to make sure both are on board so what ever I do with one, I have to repeat that activity with the other. I think you tend to do that when you have more than one kid – you have to split your time and attention evenly.
How did you deal with jealousy between siblings when you had your second child(ren)?
Jealousy is a very tricky feeling which often comes uninvited. It just crops out of nowhere and one day it suddenly bursts out.
However, jealousy does let out small hints through gestures like pushing, hitting, biting or speaking rudely. Initially, when the girls were in my stomach, I had prepared Aarav for having 1 sister. By reading him stories about big brother, he felt that he had to be the big brother and take care of his sister. But what he had not expected was having 2 sisters. Therefore, he did not know how to react. So, sometimes he would scratch or bite one of them when I was not looking.
He was seeking my attention. He was not wrong either because since 2 years he has had my solo attention and if all of a sudden, that attention is reduced, he will no doubt get jealous. So, I started involving him in more activities like feeding, changing diapers, or getting their clothes. I would also make sure that who ever comes to play with the girls has to play with Aarav first then the girls. This way he got the attention he should be getting.
As the kids are growing up, I would make sure that I involved him more and more in girls routine and would talk to him and assure him that he is always my number one kid. Vice versa, I have to make sure that the girls feel I give them enough attention as well. It comes down to spending equal time with all three of them every day.
So helpful! Tou write very beautifully