Couples Fly Together
They say birds of the same flock fly together and it is true when we are madly in love and decide to spend rest of our lives together. However, over time, lot of us tend to grow apart or get distanced just due to lot of responsibilities, work or just our busy schedule. We feel that we are alone instead of together. We feel our partners do not understand us or they are not communicating with us or have become distant.
I am so sure lot of us must have felt this at some point. Is the other person to blame? I don’t think so , but it is time for us to take a step back and look at how we can improve our relationship.
First thing, is to step back and remind yourself what was it about your spouse that you fell for or were madly in love? What is it about them that makes your knees go weak or the two qualities you admire about them?
“A relationship needs constant attention. It’s a living thing, not just a habit. You’ve got to keep on top of it.”
Matt Dunn – Picturequotes.com
Once you have your answer, then the next part is putting your thoughts into action. It is about expressing your emotions out in a manner which shows that you care for them. If you have signed up in this journey together, then why leave it unattended.
If you want to fly, you have got to use both your wings otherwise you will fall. Similarly, you are one of the wings while your spouse is the other wing. So, if both of you want to fly, you got to be in tune with each other to make it happen.
People often look at us as a couple and say what an ‘ideal couple.’ Yet, there is no thing as ‘ideal couple.’ It is a work in progress, an effort on both ends to keep that love going amidst this busy life.
Are we successful? I don’t know.
Are we happy? Yes, for sure. There may be ups and downs but you should be able to turn the negative situation into a positive one.
Here are some tips, I would like to share that I have learnt over time or have been passed onto me. We have been married for 14 years now and been together for 16 years; therefore, I am still an amateur when it comes to relationships.
Day to Day:
- Start off with a good morning kiss, a hug and whisper something really quirky in each others ears such as “Looking hot in the red shirt, watch out!” or “Your muscles…hmmmm…strong and sexy.” Lot of times “physical closeness can translate into emotional closeness.” (https://theeverygirl.com/10-things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-relationship/)
- Send a GIF or few messages or phone calls to check on each other as to how the day is going.
- You can write a note in each others lunch box or send a reminder during their lunch time – “your awesome, enjoy your lunch or miss you, see you soon.”
It is the small gestures, reminders that count and remind our spouse why we care for them.
Does it have to be elaborate and fancy gestures? Heck ya, if you want them to be and if you don’t then also it is ok. At the end, the main thing is your message is conveyed to your partner.
Every now and then:
- Go on a lunch/dinner date depending on your schedule. But do make sure to get some time off for yourselves. Make it a point to do a date atleast once every two weeks!
- You can give small surprises here and there – why wait for a birthday or an occasion!
- Create a romantic night once every couple of weeks. It does not have to be elaborate. It can be as simply as lighting few candles, dimming the lights, having soft music in the background or you can have some oils ready for some massage time.
- Have a movie night/drink night where you can cuddle up together.
- Do some activity together that you both enjoy such as biking, hiking, or any other adventure sport.
By doing all these activities, you are not only bringing your love alive again, but you are also making your communication skills stronger and learning to listen to each other. The key is to be that change in your relationship that you want so that your relationship flourishes.
Relationships are like plants – if you water them, nurture them, they grow otherwise even the most beautiful relationship can become lifeless. Don’t wait for an opportunity to fix your relation. Grab and seize each and every moment you can because this life is too short for any miscommunication or distance to set in.
